This blog isn't actually about bears in trees

Posts Tagged: boat

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Well this happened. Bears. Fishing. On a bass boat. Bears using technology to feed themselves. And talking. Questions raised: Where did they get the boat? Do they own a truck to pull that boat? Is there a trailer involved? Was murder involved? How are polar bears and grizzlies in the same geographical region? Why are they being civil? Why do they need insurance? How did they learn about deductibles? Can I fish better than them? Well simply, yes, yes I can. I could out-fish the best bear fisherman that species could field. Bring it on, peasants! 

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Gotta say, I have to take the bear’s side on this one. Like, if I walked out of my front door and there were a bunch of RC cars wondering what was happening inside my palace fuck yeah I’d step all over those shits. wouldn’t even be a match. Just a bunch of BBC producers screaming in their production office BLOODY ‘ELL ‘E’S DESTROYING OUR RC CAHS! OH THE HUMANITY! because the brits get emotional over everything. Cmon brits, you can’t step up in a bear’s yard and not expect to get searched like the TSA. They’re inquisitive motherfuckers.

And let’s get serious, are you for real with that imitation of an ice flow? What an awful show. Just amateur hour all over the BBC. Ice flows don’t follow bears, they trod along in the current. Geez. Any second rate biology dropout knows that. I had to play an ice flow in a play once and I killed it. Best damn ice flow you’ve ever seen. They said I wasn’t pretty enough to be one of the Penguins on the Walk. Well looked who bloomed into a beautiful bird now, bitches.

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