You’re fucking me right now, right? You have to be. First of all, 1) I didn’t think we had cameras way back in Abe Lincoln’s time to snap this photo and 2) This takes a direct blow to my “bears are America’s enemy” stance. Like. C’MON ABE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. An American flag saddle, obligatory M-16, and the FUCKING DECLARATION. There’s so much right yet so damn much wrong with this photo that I don’t even know whether or not to criticize or praise but my carnal instincts say criticize. This is just fucking wrong. I fucking love Abe Lincoln. And America. But with that said, how do you think the South felt when they saw a motherfucking ABRAHAM LINCOLN BEAR charging at them across the line? Could you see Robert E. Lee fucking pushrodding his musket and throwing gallons of powder into a cannon only to be thwarted by Abe and his automatic machine gun wielding bear? Like, not only do you get the mindfuck factor because no one knows what a machine gun is, you get the general “WHAT THE FUCK!?” factor because, well, just look at the photo above. That’d confuse the shit out of me on the battlefield. Like those drummer dudes, you’d just be entranced. You’d be like “..why!?” and then you’d be lit up by machine gun fire and it’d be game over. Abe -Muthafuckin- Lincoln. America at it’s finest.
Abe Lincoln, The Emancipator, is riding in on his faithful Grizzly to kick some serious ass!
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