Well here’s some shit. The Grolar Bear is a real thing. Also sometimes called the pizzly bear, it’s a mutant super-freak bear product of grizzly on polar bear sexings. And it’s bullshit! Not bullshit in the sense that it doesn’t exist, because it’s been documented, but bullshit on the fact that it does exist! We don’t need bears to torment us in the first place but now we have basically the Thundercats Megazord motherfucker combining the worst bears into one evil creature.

If kodiaks or those crazy Japanese bears got involved I’d simply move to Europe. They don’t have bears over there, right? Just foxes for fox hunts, right? I can deal with that shit. A fox? Ha! After seeing these mighty, more than likely irradiated experiment mutant bears a fox would be like a house pet. In fact the only nice thing about these mutant bears is that when I challenge them to bare knuckle duels and win I’ll be beating two birds bears with one stone. Take that, nature!