That title is an assumption, but based on this picture I don’t think I’m very far off. Look at this patient motherfucker! Bro’s just fucking sitting at the wait for some hapless vacationer to come and attempt to enjoy the wilderness. Like, I can’t even picnic with this jerk just scoping me out. This bear is totally killing the game. I can’t even ask a girl to go on a picnic with me because of this guy. Way to throw the salt, bear, way to be.

You probably couldn’t even politely ask this bear to move. Like, what if you planned for a beautiful day outside and this guy just fucks it up. You’re all “could we please use this table, sir?” and I guarantee he’ll just snarkily stand up, give you the table, and then maul the shit out of you. There’s just no good ending to this situation. Lesson: Beat bears to the table. Early bird doesn’t get mauled.
Thanks to Bob for this!